Tim was a Bit#h

(write-up provided by Capn Carbon)

Saturday August 15, 2009

The weather very humid but not too hotA little bit of a late start (7:40) which frustrated atomic clock Ron
Those in attendance included.Starting with the Roses:
Jae - AWOL last Sunday
Christy Wing – rides like she has wings
Ron and Tracy on the tandem - caused confusion on “Ron’s Pull”
Teresa – who is she? – another no-show
Starting with the Thorns:
Steve – “Capn Carbon”Tim – “Love Train with a Migraine” - hey, it rhymes!
Josh – “Moving Violation” , “ohh, I can’t ride hard because I am racing tomorrow”
Jeff – “Claim Jumper”, not #6, not downhill racer, not the one with a broken collar bone
Christi – “Pink Triassholete” – on her gold plated tri-bike which at least makes her look fast
Joe – “hey wait until I get my new bike”
John – “hey most people only live once, but I am living twice!”
Deborah – retired recently to concentrate on biking, running, and swimming – we all are jealous!
Taylor – “Doc” – who rode with so much force that she broke something in her bottom bracket
Kevin – “GOG” – quickly becoming a distant memory and another no-show

This will be a brief write-up as Capn has no time to do the GOG’s responsibility.

The group rolled out of the parking lot late and you could sense the frustration by several of the riders, especially Ron who is definitely time driven and prompt! Off they went with lots of banter from the beginning. The Love Train proclaimed he had a migraine which nobody believed. The more the day went on, the more we believed him. He was unusually quiet and when he spoke it was very negative and with sharp tones. He was bitching all day long.

At Ron’s pull, Ron and Tracy took control and charged down the road. The Thorns were not sure how long, if at all, they had to “respect” Ron since he was not riding solo. It did not matter because Ron and Tracy put the hammer down the entire length of Ron’s Pull and everyone else had to push it to keep up. At the very end, Josh sensed a $100 payout by the GOG and used his youthful sprinting skills to take the prize. GOG owes Josh $100. He caught a lot of dirty looks from the group for not properly respecting Ron and Tracy.

From there, the Roses and Thorns split with Jae leading her group toward Durham and Capn headed toward Upchuck. At Upchuck, the group was nervous in anticipation of a dog fight when suddenly Frank broke loose with a serious explosion to take the king of the mountain honors – GOG owes Frank $100.

The group then took a few turns and a left onto some lady’s Chapel road toward the lake. As expected, the pace quickened and a tight draft line formed. Everyone knew there was another $100 on the line for the first person to the lake. Apparently, the group all used hand signals to form a plan to strand Capn at the point position for the entire stretch. Nobody would pull through and Capn was stuck “breaking wind” for several miles. With the lake coming into sight, Josh sling shot past Capn to claim the win. GOG owes Josh $100. Joe took home second prize with a demonstration of power. Where was Capn – out of gas from breaking all the wind!

A right turn put the group at the Lystra gas station for a needed break. Man was it humid! During the break, Joe proclaimed that he was taking his game to another level by ordering a full carbon race bike from Bikes Direct. The bike is called Immortal Force which I suspect does not come in “Pink”. Check it out : http://www.bikesdirect.com/products/motobecane/immortalforce_10.htm .

After the break, the group formed a good pace line and rolled forward with a bunch of right turns (one on Stage Coach I think) which circled the group back toward Cary. During one long uphill stretch, Capn “lit it up” a little with Frank hot on his heels. A few riders back was Christi (Pink Triassholete) on her fancy high dollar pro tri bike. With all of that technology under her butt, she started letting the group behind her get gapped. Then it happened. Josh barked at Christi to close the gap (in London they say “Mind the Gap”) which really irritated her. At that point, Christi responded with words that cannot be written in this blog. I think the two kissed and made up later in the ride. Was good entertainment for the group which filled in the void left by Love Train’s lack of talking and joking around.

The group splintered a bit from there until after crossing 55 and the tracks. Everyone regrouped at the beginning of Capn’s Graveyard. Everyone was ready for what was going to happen next. Capn slowly took the pace up to 25-27 mph and a tight line formed right behind him. Lots of complaints about not being able to draft off of a Nat where heard as the wind was rushing through everyone’s helmets. Capn could not shake the group and even heard comments from Jeff (not #6, etc.) that the pace was unusually slow this time. Apparently our rides are not pushing Jeff enough or MAYBE he should try the pull position more to wear himself down like the rest of the ride group. Frank did not even break a sweat and continues to wonder when the attacks will get serious. Joe rode like a pro and kept saying “just wait until I get my Immortal Force”. Taylor “Doc” rode extremely strong all day long and definitely has picked up her game. In fact, it was learned after the ride that she rode with such power that she broke something in her bike’s bottom bracket. She drove directly to Performance Bike to make the repair after the ride. Josh rode well but overall was sucking a lot of wheel to save his strength for a race on Sunday. Deborah rode strong all day long but faded a little in the end as the pace quickened. She is in no rush as she is RETIRED. At one point, Deborah pulled up next to Capn and asked how many times a week he rides? She wanted to know how to ride faster. Capn simply responded that anyone can ride faster through modern chemistry and quickly recommended EPO, blood doping, Roids, and other supplements

It was a great 40 mile ride at 18.2 mph. With GOG gone, the group is beginning to take it to another level. BUT, we continue to make this a “NO DROP” ride.