Monday, January 17, 2011

What is with all the Nick Names?

Two Saddles rides a TWIXY.

Saturday Jan 15, 2011

A later start to allow the temps to rise into the mid 40’s.

Those in attendance include:

Kevin Smit – GOG (Glistening Older Gentleman) named by one of the barista’s in Caribou Coffee as she tried to explain to Steve Cope who was asking her if Kevin had been in there. “Oh you mean the Older looking Gentleman that was Glistening. (Sweating all over the counter top as he ordered a diet coke after the ride.) She was trying to be very nice and polite, however Steve knew exactly what to do with that information.
Theresa Smit – Mother Theresa (for putting up with GOG for over 35 years)
Rob Robertson – Top Rookie (for his unbelievable improvement in his first year of biking)
Jim Cobb – more than ready for a nickname. Watch him closely and share with GOG any comments he makes, or dumb moves he makes. There is always a great nickname waiting to be discovered if you are paying attention.
Elise Cobb – Popsicle ( she has no body fat, and the winter cold has her vibrating on the bike as she shivers to try and warm up).
Todd McBride - Definitely ready for a nickname. Todd is another rider who in a very short time riding with the Thorns N Roses has not only lost a great deal of weight, he has also improved his riding skills and strength. Todd is also one of those riders in the group who will look after others making sure no one rides alone. The first ride he did with the group he performed a perfect GOG style BONK. A nickname like BONK BUDDY has been bantered about, however his willingness to ride with others suggests he is actually a BEST BIKING BUDDY. So he may have already earned two nicknames. B2 or B3. Or if you realy want to go there he could be Best Biking and Bonking Buddy B4.
Deb Hollis – Two Saddles ( rides horses and bikes both of which have saddles)
Joe Pittman – Immortal Man (named by Steve Cope who noticed a sicker on Joe’s Bike with the word IMMORTAL)
Kaleo Bullard - He has just started riding with the group keep a close eye on him and learn more about him, then share that information with GOG along with your suggested nicknames.
Chris Stark – Chris is one of the Thorns and rides also a great deal with OMV and other groups. Chris has not yet been caught by GOG doing or saying anything worthy of a nickname. Mostly because GOG can not keep up with Chris or the rest of the Thorns.
Paul Estes – another Thorn who rides periodically with the group and is always way too far out ahead of GOG to be caught doing or saying something note worthy enough for a nickname. Thorns pay attention and share your observations about the antics of those you ride with.
Steve Cope – one of the founding members of the Thorns N Roses. Steve has many nicknames all worthy of him and his antics. His nicknames in order of when they were awarded are as follows:

Chiwawa – Steve talks non stop and is always there by your side nipping at your heals. He is known for his attacks time and time again just to see if you will play his game. Oh and did we mention that he is small in stature much like a small dog.

Angry Chipmunk – name given to him by Christy Miller (Pink Triassholete – Pinky for short) who could not remember his nickname but described him to others as that little guy who is always attacking – you know like an Angry Chipmunk.

The Gnat – named for the fact that no one can get a reasonable draft off of him. He is so small that a gnat can’t even get a good draft off him.

Captain Carbon – Until recently Steve rode nothing but vintage steel frame bikes. He said that all those riding carbon fiber were destroying the environment with the large carbon foot print. Steve Now Owns a Carbon Fiber bike and was instantly named Captain Carbon on the day he showed up with the new bike.

Kiki – Twinkle Toes – Named for her distinct riding style. Her feet remain in the toes down position thru the entire peddle stroke. She dances and prances on the peddles like a ballerina.

Those are the riders who were in attendance this day and the story behind their nicknames. There are more riders out there who ride with the group and also have nicknames. Feel free to ask them if they have one and how they earned that name.

Some of them include:

Love Train
Track Stand
Mother Goose
Sonic Boom
Green Flash – aka Killer Bee – aka – Desert Flower – aka – Abominal Snowman
Rumble strip
Patti Melt
Rose Peddler
Just RON
Rose Bud
Moving Violation
Down Hill Racer – now living in the DC area.
Claim Jumper
Slow Todd
Tri Todd
Blood Hound
Twin Peaks
Just Wendy
Mr. Bridenbaugh
Social Butterfly aka Butterfly – now living in Germany
#1 in the Bush
The Antagonist
Power Stroker
Slow Jen Fizz
Sporadic Steve
Double your Miles Double Your Pleasure

So join in the fun of helping name those who do not yet have a nickname. Not all suggestions stick. The best ones contain a degree of innuendo.

As the group assembled for the days ride GOG welcomed back Capn Carbon who has not been on his bike riding with the group for a couple of months. GOG then shared his plans for the day’s route with all the riders. He did this knowing the Thorns would be anxious to attack early, leaving him and others unable to communicate the next set of turns and roads. As it turned out the two groups, Thorns and Stems, did come back together briefly twice during the ride.

The group rolled out of the parking lot as they always do by dumping out onto High House and then dodging into the Preston neighborhood to avoid traffic as they exit the Cary city limits. In Preston the group was joined by Kiki (Twinkle Toes) who rides towards the start, timing her appearance as the group glides through that neighborhood. All riders timed the light correctly as they sprang across Davis and into the round-a-bout that would spit them out at the BIG CHICKEN/Yellow Barn land mark. This is usually the first decision point on what direction to turn, however today all were equipped with the knowledge of the roads to be traveled and little time was spent figuring out left or right at that spot.

The split had already happened, however the light at High House and the slow transition onto Jenks Carpenter allowed the pack to reassemble. It was at the right turn from Jenks Carpenter onto Jenks Carpenter that Kaleo showed his bike handling skills. The entire group ahead of him had slowed with some riders coming to a stop. Kaleo clipped the rear tire of Immortal Man but was able to Muscle his bike back into control and did not crash. The amount of force he applied to the handlebars of his bike equaled that of a Cowboy Wrestling a steer to the ground by its Horns in a Rodeo event. Hmmmm Steer Wrestler – a nickname in the making? After the near crash the group swung thru the right turn and headed down the long hill with GOG warning everyone of the potential pot holes at the bottom of the hill. The Thorns all positioned themselves for the expected attack that would begin just after the bottom of the hill and peak at or near the top of the climb near the intersection of Jenks Carpenter and Holt. This day there was no clear attack as each rider rode their own pace towards the top of the hill. The pack did not have to wait anytime at all for all to make it to the stop sign. “My kids said that there were still patches of ice on Tingen were the hills begin, especially in the shaded valleys of the 4 hills” Top Rookie informed the group. Armed with this new information the Thorns made the left turn onto Holt and headed towards Apex. The Thorns were slowly pressing the pace as the cyclists reached to Northern edge of Apex. GOG was looking in his mirror to see if he could spot Mother Theresa and Kaleo (Steer Wrestler). No cyclists in site. GOG pulled off to the edge of the road just past the Highway 64 overpass. Todd McBride (Bonk Buddy, B2 or Best Biking Buddy, B3) held up as well to make sure all were OK. After several minuets Mother Theresa was spotted riding solo towards the riders. As she approached she waved to two rider on as if to suggest – Do Not Make Me Stop and explain.

GOG pulled up next to here and asked/confirmed that Kaleo had turned back. “Yes, he was having a Migraine and was not feeling well so he elected to turn back and head for home”. “Yea he probably had to clean his shorts after almost crashing” GOG said in jest.

Mother Theresa saw no humor is GOGs sick reply.

Mother Theresa, Todd McBride B2 B3 and GOG were now all alone as they slid through Apex and onto the section of road known to the group as The Tingen Salt Flats. There would be no fast pace line for those 3 as they fought the strong head winds and could not form a pace line. Tingen Salt Flats then gave way to the Hills of Woods Creek. These hills slap the cyclist once, twice, three, and then one final sucker punch as they work to keep momentum thru that section of road known to the group as The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse Top Rookie refers to those hills as the 4 Whores. Either way they are there to Hurt not to help.

The group now found themselves at the intersection of Friendship. A good place to find oneself along with their cycling partners after surviving the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The three then turned right towards old highway one. The wind was now at their back and provided for an easy run to the next turn that put them briefly on old US 1. They then turned right at the second road. Now on Humie Olive and again with the wind mostly at their back the pace quickened. Just as the 3 were getting into a rhythm they spotted the Thorns all gathered ahead. “How nice of them to wait on us” thought GOG. Just as the 3 riders closed in on the Thorns the Thorns scattered, jumped on their bikes and blasted off down the road. In doing so they left one of their riders behind at the edge of the road. The 3 Stems rolled past the abandoned rider only to hear “I broke my cable”. It was Two Saddles that GOG recognized as the abandoned Thorn. ‘YOU OK” he shouted as his momentum carried him past her. He checked his mirror to see she was still not on her bike. Checking again to make sure no cars were coming GOG made a U-Turn and rolled back to her location. “My shift cable broke, and they made it so I could finish the ride” Two Saddles was telling GOG. “Front or Rear cable” he asked. “Rear” she replied. “What gear did they fix you in?” he asked. “Middle cog” she responded as she was now on the bike and slowly coming up to optimal rpms. Capn Carbon said I had more gears than he did since I can shift the front chain ring and he only has one gear on his FIXY. “I am riding a TWIXY” she announced with a big grin.

Thorns peform roadside repair turning Two Saddles road bike into a TWIXY.

The Stems now had a new member Two Saddles on a TWIXY. This group rode easy and all took note of the Fountain in the front yard of a home on that road. The fountain was draped in its own handy work of frozen water falls. Very pretty and a testimonial to how cold the days have been this winter. The 3rd coldest December on record. January is not warming up and not living up to its Normal Temperatures that would allow cyclists to ride in low 50’s on a regular basis.

The Thorns were already long out of site and the Stems made their way onto New Hill and then onto Toddy Goodwin and its rolling hills and head winds. Toddy Goodwin was also spotted with several small patches of ice in the shaded areas of the road. The Stems did not form a draft line as each rider struggled solo against the wind, hills, and wind Chill.

The Stems regrouped at the end of Toddy Goodwin and then made the right turn towards Wilsonville and Highway 64. The Thorns were spotted one last time as they were leaving the gas station at Wilsonville and the Stems were rolling in for a Bio Break. The Stems took little time to rest, blow noses, and empty bladders before heading across Highway 64 and onto Farrington. They formed a short tight pace line with the wind at their backs and the down hill leading to Lake Jordan. Here again the cyclists were presented with another of Natures more eye pleasing scenes as they crossed the bridge over the water. To their right they could see the thin smooth surface of ice that had formed on sections of the lake. It looked as if someone had tried to put a large piece of Plastic Wrap over the lake but ran out. It appeared as if Plastic Wrap was stretched from lands edge out towards mid water on all sides. Picture perfectly smooth sections formed by this protective layer reaching out further and further as if to some how try and calm the waters that were still exposed. Hundreds of white birds were perched on the ice at the barrier were smooth turns to rough water. They were enjoying the bright sun light, calmness of the ice, and close to the open water that supplied the next feeding opportunity.

The Stems continued on their quest towards Holland Chapel and the roads well traveled by many cyclists in the area. GOG Turned to B3 and asked if he wanted to go further to Martha’s Chapel to get in a couple extra miles. “You bet, more time in the saddle, is always good”. GOG then turned to Mother Theresa “You up for going to Martha’s Chapel?”. “NO”. GOG turned back to Best Biking Buddy and said “Holland Chapel it is”. The group swung right onto Holland Chapel pointed their front tires towards the Strawberry Patch, the County Line Sprint, Cary Glenn, Nicole’s Roller Coasters, and back thru the back side of Preston.

The Stems finished 44 miles at 15 mph pace.

The Thorns finished 42 miles at a much faster clip.

Two Saddles learned to ride a TWIXY.

Kaleo – Steer Wrestler – went home early to clean his shorts after avoiding a crash.

GOG and Theresa asked if anyone wanted to go out for lunch.

The group suggested that we plan on it for next weekend’s ride.

Sunday January 16th.

Another later start to help let the day warm. The start was clearly 10 degrees warmer and with little to no wind keeping the wind chill a non issue. A warmer start but with half the turn out from Saturday’s colder ride.

Those in attendance included.

Kevin Smit – GOG
Theresa Smit – Mother Theresa
Todd McBride – Best Biking Buddy, Bonk Buddy – there to help if you Bonk since he knows how to Bonk as well as GOG does.
Ann Munn – GOG is remembering that she has a nickname but he has been failing to use it. Sorry BUMP AND RUB for failing to use your nickname. She received this on one of her first rides with the group. She did a fantastic Bump and Rub maneuver on Rose Bud putting her into the fence as they both fought for position thru the narrow entrance to the Tobacco Trail bike path. You can read about that in the Sunday July 18th 2010 write up Posted on July 21st 2010.
Josh Carter – Moving Violation – Speeding ticket on his way home from Florida.
Lee Duncan – Sonic Boom, Snotty Boom – Named for his fast explosive acceleration that has been described as a Sonic Boom as he passes you. Snotty Boom due to the volume of bodily fluids that flow from his nose on those colder riding days.

All riders were lined up ready to head out of the parking lot. They were only waiting for GOG to mount his bike signaling time was at hand to ride. His bike was leaning on the back of his van pointing in a direction opposite the normal path out of the parking lot. GOG was still putting away money collected for jerseys, recording who had paid for them, along with any of the signed release forms for the Thorns N Roses Riders. Then he was seen closing and locking the van doors. The Riders then all moved collectively forward towards Brueggers and the road that snakes out to High House. GOG grabbed his bike and swung his leg over the top tube, an effort for some one as old, over weight and out of shape as he currently is. As he completed this delicate maneuver the pack was off. GOG was still readying himself, making sure all systems were go. Then he slowly pressed on the left peddle as he used the small amount of momentum to then clip into his right peddle. He was still pointed away from Brueggers. He continued his direction away from the normal exit point. He was in fact headed out the direction that he normally finishes a ride from. He was headed towards Crabtree Crossing Parkway. He did not turn, he did not yell out to the others, instead he slowly continued in the reciprocal direction as he glanced in his mirror to see the outcome of his antics. As GOG left the edge of the parking Lot and turned onto the SIDEWALK he saw first one then another and then the entire group turn to take chase.

Mother Theresa was not amused and let GOG know He Needed to inform her of where they were going for the days ride. ‘Normal RTP but in reverse” he said as if that would be enough to satisfy her desire to know all the details of what hills there would be, how many miles, what the traffic pattern and volume would be. His short explanation was met with a silent stare. Sonic Boom raced up to GOG and informed him ‘I will probably jump out a head several times and I may have to turn early due to prior commitment”.

‘Yea you do not have any Thorns to play with today, Feel free to push ahead once and a while” GOG responded knowing how challenging it would be for Sonic Boom to ride at the slower pace expected for the days group.

The group was now gliding down Crabtree Crossing and closing in on were it intersects with Morrisville Carpenter when all of a sudden from a side street there came a double draft line of cyclists from the CSH Sunday Ride. The late start along with the reverse start direction for the Thorns N Roses put the two groups onto a collision course. The CSH riders slid in front of the Thorns N Roses and immediately jumped thru the intersection and onto Morrisville Parkway. The Thorns N Roses were caught by traffic and waited for a clearing before following CSH onto the road. Once onto Morrisville Parkway Sonic Boom darted forward to catch and then push to the front of CSH. A tactic he learned from Capn Carbon who can not allow any cyclists ahead without running them down and announce his arrival.

CSH next made the turn onto Creek Park Dr as it heads towards Hogans Valley Way. This was the route GOG had also charted out for the Thorns N Roses. Up ahead, Sonic Boom was seen slowing and unclipping as he looked all around for GOG to receive his next move commands. “Left Turn” GOG shouted in his effort to allow Sonic Boom to keep his momentum and to clip back in without having to put a fool down. The two cyclists were now together at the back of the CSH pack. GOG looked at Sonic Boom and said “These guys do a 30 mile fast run out to Lake Jordan and back, You might want to jump in with them, they will be done before we are, and we are not going to go as far, and definitely not as fast”. GOG could see in an instant that Lee’s look went from one of “Rats I was looking for a good fast ride today with the rest of my Thorn Buddies, and now I am stuck with these Stems/Rose that never ride hard, CRAP” – to a look of “Really CAN I REALLY – THANKS DAD”. “Yea you will have a lot more fun and get back in time for your early commitment” GOG said as he released the Thorn.

That was the last Sonic Boom was seen. Within a block Sonic Boom was at the front of the CSH pack.

The Stems and Roses rolled on thru Preston onto Ron’s Pull, Carpenter Fire Station, Yates Store towards Okelley. The group then rolled across Okelley thru the round about onto Stonewater Glenn, Green Level Church, Kit Creek Road, Louis Stevens, Hopson road. It was there that we learned that one of the many talents Biking Best Buddy has is that he was the Safety Officer for the Gun Club that is located at the corner of Lewis Stevens and Hopson. Not only is Best Biking Buddy an Engineer for Verizon, he is also a Scuba Instructor, and was an EMT at one point. We are sure there is a lot more he has to share about his many talents, so next time you ride with him see if you can get him to share more. Moving Violation was riding comfortably with GOG and B3. He was comfortable doing a relaxed pace. Moving Violation is planning to get back into Racing and was sharing his most resent training effort. He had hired a personal trainer and within 20 minutes the trainer had Moving Violation PUKING in the waste basket during the workout. The last time GOG every Puked during a work out was in 1968 during swim team practice.

The pack wormed their way slowly back to brueggers by traveling a short way on Davis turning into a small industrial complex and exiting out onto Keystone Park, then Church St, turning then onto Mc Crimmon Parkway, crossing Davis, to Koopers Rd that then melts into Lewis Stevens eventually putting the group back at the BIG Chicken land mark and the roads thru Preston to the finish.

They completed 27 miles. The MPH were un recorded because the did not want to push themselves to the point of Puking.

Mother Theresa and Bump and Rub both rolled into the end having ridden side by side the entire route.