Coaches Crowd Crushes the Other Riders.

Sunday Sept 7th 2008

In attendance for the “Roses”
Jae Brainard
Sheila Augustine
Theresa Smit

In attendance for the “Thorns”
David Bridenbaugh – Mr. Bridenbauh
Tim Devinney – “Fast Tim”, “The Love Train”
Stephen Marks
Steve Sparano – “Sporadic Steve”
Kevin Smit – “GOG”
Coach Dotson – “Asshole Coach” for suggesting Lystra hill climb on every ride.
And Coach’s 3 Triassholete friends. All very Powerful riders.

The ride start was slightly delayed when Jae discovered she had a flat rear tire. Kevin helped her change out the tube. In an effort to reinsert the rear tire into the frame they were unsuccessful in realigning the center pull breaks on the bike. After several attempts to adjust the breaks Jae instructed Kevin and the “Thorns” to go on with out her.

The “Thorns” left the parking lot and headed towards the friendly roads of Preston Woods. The pace was already 3 to 4 miles an hour faster than normal with the pack zooming through the neighbor hood at speeds reaching 19 mph. This was no warm-up. Kevin was already in trouble before the third mile. The band of Triassholettes were setting the pace very early with Coach, Fast Tim, Stephan, and Mr. Bridenbaugh eagerly participating. Kevin was leading the route from the rear as usual and was able to shout the next maneuver to execute for the circling cyclists at each intersection as he would finally close to within several hundred yards of them.

Kevin had crafted a route that provided three options for distance. The first 30 miles allowed all to ride the same roads with the first decision point resulting in choice of distance and route being made at that point in the ride. The 30 mile point also provided a place to re-hydrate, refuel, and bio-break if needed.

Within the first seven miles of the ride the group had splintered at least 4 times. The street Lights that lined the main street in Apex provided the catalyst to keep the pack together for the longest period of the ride. This also set up for a fast pace line once the group was launched out of Apex and onto Tingen Road. The two Triassholes women set a blistering pace for the draft line. At one point Kevin was able to take his eyes off the rear wheel of the rider ahead of him to notice his speedometer reading 33 mph. At that same moment he caught a glimpse of “Sporadic Steve” pushing past the group to take a turn at the pull position. His pull did not last long. At the first sign of the pace slowing the two Triassholetes darted around him and reestablished themselves as the pack leaders.
Tingen’s fast smooth flat service changed into rolling hills at the same point that it changed its name to Woods Creek. The hills on this section of road had riders alternating their position in the pack as some traveled much faster downhill due to mass and gravity than others, only to lose it all on the up hills due to mass and gravity, and strength, and conditioning. With each hill the distance gap generated by the difference in mass and conditioning of the riders increased exponentially.
The group assembled again at the turn onto Friendship with the pace and pack well under control.
This remained through the turns and hills of New Hill Olive Chapel and Sharon Harris to Old US 1.
Once on Old US 1 the Group Splintered again with Coach, Fast Tim, Mr Bridenbaug, and the Triassholettes all attacking at speeds exceeding 25 mph. This left Kevin and “Sporadic Steve” working together to make it as best they could down old US1 and the full length of Beaver Creek to the rest stop at Beaver Creek and Highway 64.
Once all were assembled at the rest stop Kevin recommended 3 alternative finishes for the day’s ride. Those needing to get back due to other commitments included “Fast Tim”, and Mr. Bridenbaugh. The route they elected to follow would require them to ride an additional 15 miles traveling on Holland Chapel, Luther Shop, Cary Glenn, and on in to the finish on Carpenter Fire Station, and past Green Hope to High House. Everyone waved goodbye to the two riders as they worked to get back in time for their other commitments.
The others elected to travel down Highway 64 to Big Woods and the rolling hills that challenge the riders. The idea would then be to determine from there whether to go for more miles before heading to the finish or to head back down Farrington to Holland Chapel and then follow the route taken by “Fast Tim” and Mr. Bridenbaugh.
Kevin told Coach to lead his group on and to not look back or wait on Kevin. Kevin was already feeling the early stages of a BONK. “Sporadic Steve” said he would hang back and baby sit the “GOG”.
Coach and his team including Stephan wasted no time climbing onto their bikes and blasting down Highway 64. “Sporadic Steve” bought Kevin a large bottle of cold water to consume and to top off water bottles.
Once rested Kevin and his care taker slid onto their bikes and rolled onto Highway 64 headed towards Big Woods.
Kevin led the two stragglers all the way to Big Woods where “Sporadic Steve” took the reins and pulled Kevin up and over each of Big Woods hills.
Once at the next rest stop on Lystra and Farrington Kevin rested in the shade. He laid on the pavement and used one of the cement curbs as a pillow. He was in Full BONK mode with close to 20 miles yet to go.
Once rested Kevin began to slowly prepare for the “Death March” the laid ahead. His Baby Sitter was still willing to keep a close eye on him.
Kevin led the pace at 18 mph down Farrington and up “Kevin’s Crawl” to the turn onto Holland Chapel.
Once on Holland Chapel “Sporadic Steve” again took the reins and led the rest of the route all the way to the finish. There were periods during the last 15 miles when Kevin was unable to sustain 10 mph on the simplest of inclines. On several occasions Kevin would sit up in the seat with his hands off the handlebars to try and stretch his back only to get very dizzy forcing him to fall back to the drops of the handle bars.

Coach was still waiting at the finish to make sure Kevin did not die or need vehicular rescue. The rest of his pack had already gone home, showered, and returned for bagels. They had completed 58 miles at an average speed over 20 mph.

Kevin and his baby Sitter “Sporadic Steve” completed the same 58 miles at an average just under 17 mph.